I try to keep my blog a fairly upbeat place, but I also believe in being real -- and my reality lately hasn't been upbeat. Conundrum.
I am starting to regain my signature optimism -- and I'd like to take you along for the ride.
There are two things that I force myself to hold on to when I am in a dark place:
1) It is always darkest before the dawn
This helps me to name and accept the darkness, to realize that is has a hold on me, but also know that the light is out there -- and although I cannot see it now, it isn't too far away.
2) (the old stand by) Everything happens for a reason
As much as I believe this, I HATE IT when people say it to me when I am in a dark place. I don't want others to tell me, and I try hard not to be the one who says it to others who are struggling, but when I am able to see it again -- it helps tremendously.
There have been many times when I just don't want to believe that it is true -- where I don't want to believe that my pain is part of some serendipitous plan. It is once I have made it into the dawn that this starts to become more apparent, and satisfying is some way.
Some quotes that have been helping me lately:
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid
"...devalue the size and shape of your body and celebrate it's purpose -- to house your mind and soul, to give you physical means to embrace your loved ones, to create the things for which you are passionate" (written here) -- Amber Doty
Things that I feel good about today:
- I exercised 26 out of 29 days in Feb, and more days than not in March
- I am done freaking out about dieting and exercise. If I stay this size forever, so what, I am not worth any less than I would be 30 lbs lighter
- I booked an extended weekend in the Everglades with a good friend: May 18th cannot come fast enough
- I got a promotion at work
- My little family is healthy
- Spring is just around the corner -- over 50 all week :-)
- I got my hair chopped off and purchased new glasses
- I have rekindled my romance with nail polish
- I have been getting semi-regular pedicures and refuse to feel selfish about it
- I bought skinny jeans, and I feel great in them
|Learning to "skate"|
|Finally got my title put onto a glass|
|Lorax 3D : Good Stuff|
|My cat's tail has a life of its own|
|My wall is not that yellow. Those frames need to be painted and |
pictures inserted/changed... but at least they are hung.
|Hello "Lincoln Park After Midnight"|
|Getting a haircut -- almost finished!|
|Glasses. Not the best angle/photo -- but you get it.|
|I should have used something for scale... because |
this pile was huge.
|I had a million smiling out-takes because when I smile|
I lift my chin and I get a bad pic -- even the millionth time.
I promise, I wasn't pissed.
|Playing "chubby bunny" with the marshmallows we|
purchased to make smore's in the fireplace
when the power was out. Haha.
(That is Andrea)
|Mysaiah went to an Elementary carnival and |
returned a sugared up dog...
And that is my life... lately.