Let's not think on it too hard, lest we scare me off...
Friday night my dad, Mysaiah's PawPaw, surprised the hell out of us!
It is very very very hard to surprise me. Because I am analytical to a fault. But surprise us he did! And he did it good. Really had us going. And then - BAM! - there he was in the flesh.
I'm not gunna lie about it.
I was shocked. the happy shocked. and my face and tears betrayed my usual sullen or whimsical disposition. I just let it happen. I just stood there in the moment and let my heart beat wild and my breath hitch. Good old fashioned surprise.
And he stayed. And he cheered on our boy. And he yelled out "GOOOOO SPORTDOG!" because that is his nickname for his only grandson. And he nicknames all of us - grandson or not. He drove hundreds of miles on a whim to watch my boy play baseball for 75 minutes. 75 minutes!
The game sped by. And so did the late night impromptu grill out. And the bud light. And the entire evening - much too fast. But good.
No... not good.
That might be the best way to describe it.
I get misty just thinking about it.
I haven't been that happy in ages. And that surprised? Never.
It's those things - those things! - They are the spice of life.
I tend to do that. I go on a blogging rampage... and then I just quit.
I'm not really looking to go on another blogging bender at this time, as my job is pretty demanding and so is my beer-with-the-hubby post-job ritual. I can't quit that.
(don't worry family, it isn't a problem.) (I knew you'd worry. but worry not. I'm not an alcoholic. yet.) (har har har) (i kid)
But I am looking for a creative outlet again. Which tends to send me this way. I don't have stacks of money at this juncture in my life to throw at yoga and travel and other fun creative things. Bc right now I am paying for childcare and my new little car and lots of gas for the fleet we now own. Not to mention all the other regularly scheduled bills. And pet food.
Which leaves only enough money in the budget for cheap beer and whiskey and hugs.
GOTCHA. hugs are free.
And cheap beer is growing on me. Surprisingly. Man, what a beer snob I was. Sheeewwww. Didn't know what I was missing. Hamms special light, anyone?
ha. ha. ......
I wish I was kidding.
But there is a fresh 30 pack in my fridge. And, it isn't that bad. I've officially tried all the cheap and shitty beers. Not my proudest moment. But my wallet sure thinks PBR and Hamms and Beast Light taste mighty fine on a hot Summer's not-yet-payday night.
- sigh -
Did I convince you? Because I'm not convinced.
"This too shall pass." or something. I'm choosing to believe that it will be mostly Oberon in the Summer for me again one day.
Until then, pass the Hamms.
I'm sorry for the abruptness of my absence here. It was all getting very overwhelming. The prompts, the upkeep, the promise of a daily post, the guilt of not fulfilling the promise each day, the time it took away from the small window I have with my family each night or the even smaller one I keep for relaxing.
I thought writing each day would be relaxing. I was wrong.
I figured that half the battle I had with writing regularly was that I was never sure what to write about -- and that prompts would take that piece out of it. But that led to me feeling uninspired many days, and it began to feel like work. Which was the exact opposite of what I wanted and needed it to be.
I think that it could be relaxing. It has potential. But not if I do it as a chore, without end.
This leaves me in a strange spot. I'm not really sure how to proceed from here.
It feels bad to stop the Blogging 349 journey one third of the way through it. It feels itchy. But it also feels bad to continue just for the sake of continuing.
I like to finish things. I like to keep my word. I like routine too, most days. I'm not a quitter -- or at least I'd like to believe that I am not. I persevere, I'm dedicated. Those are qualities that I pride myself on when I am in the business of pride-ing myself -- which isn't often really.
You guys. I just don't know.
I've had several people say that they miss it and that they miss my voice in this space. And that feels good. I'm glad that I could keep you company while it lasted -- and I take comfort in knowing that you'll be here shall I decide to continue.
For now, I think I'll take a break. I will return when the inspiration hits again. It could be later today, tomorrow, or several days from now. But I will be back at some random future hour on some equally random day.
Thank you for being wonderful friends, you caring people you.