Blogging 349 / Day 120
Blogging
349 is a series I started in January in an effort to inspire myself to
write daily. You can see my progress and read the archives by clicking
the tab on the top left. (You will have to click over to my blog to see
the pages tabs if you follow in a reader). Please feel free to follow or write along with me.
120. Dear Stranger:
----------------------
Dear Stranger:
Please somehow help me to get back on the saddle with this "write every damn day" effort. I'm struggling. I keep posting late, and short, and writing cop-out posts.
I'm having trouble staying motivated with this project. I'm having a hard time remembering why I thought it was such a great idea in the first place. I'm having a hard time thinking that I am any good at this, that my words have any value, and that this is a worthwhile endeavor.
I want to quit.
I want to stop, walk away, and leave it all right here.
I don't want to dread writing a post. I don't want to spend 30+ minutes each night sitting down and dedicating my time to this. It feels like a fruitless labor.
Can you help me, Stranger? Do you have any advice? Is it ok to stop now? Would that make me a quitter, or a precious-time optimizer? Would you judge me for quitting? Will you cheer me on if I keep going?
This journey feels endless - despite being a 1/3rd of the way through.
-sigh-
Can you help me, Stranger?
Xx - Your Strange Friend,
Angie
15 May, 2013
119/349: Favorite Clo-Thing
Blogging 349 / Day 119
Blogging 349 is a series I started in January in an effort to inspire myself to write daily. You can see my progress and read the archives by clicking the tab on the top left. (You will have to click over to my blog to see the pages tabs if you follow in a reader). Please feel free to follow or write along with me.
119. Write about your favorite article of clothing.
This is both late and unedited. Because it's my son's birthday, and I'll do what I want to. Or something like that.
-----------------------------
Among my favorite articles of clothing, the highest ranks are reserved for my accessories... do they count?
I love shoes. And purses. And scarves. And ridiculous jewelry pieces. Those are my favorites. Why? Because they are easily altered to fit the current season and trend and it costs less to buy new accessories each season than a new wardrobe.
As an added bonus: They always fit.
Accessories feel like a good purchase to me. They make me happy and they look pretty in my closet organizers and strewn across my house and all over every flat or hanger type surface I have. They double as decoration both for myself and my house.
Right?
If you made me choose my favorite one I would have to say: My leather cross body purse. I'm obsessed with it. It is real Italian leather and it was a really big purchase when we had very little. A Mother's Day + Anniversary + Birthday type splurge.
And I almost couldn't pull the trigger.
I am SO glad I did. I've had it now for probably 6 years, and it is still in amazing shape. We bought it at TJ Maxx in Kansas City, MO one year. I have loved it ever since. I use it all the time. Some call it my "lesbian" purse - lovingly, of course. It pairs well with my "lesbian" shoes (Keens) and tankinis and board shorts and cut offs..............
SO basically I look a bit butch most days.
Deal with it.
--------------------------
What is your favorite article of clothing? Do accessories count? Do you think I may or may not look butch most times that you see me?
My short dark hair has not helped that situation.
X Angie
Blogging 349 is a series I started in January in an effort to inspire myself to write daily. You can see my progress and read the archives by clicking the tab on the top left. (You will have to click over to my blog to see the pages tabs if you follow in a reader). Please feel free to follow or write along with me.
119. Write about your favorite article of clothing.
This is both late and unedited. Because it's my son's birthday, and I'll do what I want to. Or something like that.
-----------------------------
Among my favorite articles of clothing, the highest ranks are reserved for my accessories... do they count?
I love shoes. And purses. And scarves. And ridiculous jewelry pieces. Those are my favorites. Why? Because they are easily altered to fit the current season and trend and it costs less to buy new accessories each season than a new wardrobe.
As an added bonus: They always fit.
Accessories feel like a good purchase to me. They make me happy and they look pretty in my closet organizers and strewn across my house and all over every flat or hanger type surface I have. They double as decoration both for myself and my house.
Right?
If you made me choose my favorite one I would have to say: My leather cross body purse. I'm obsessed with it. It is real Italian leather and it was a really big purchase when we had very little. A Mother's Day + Anniversary + Birthday type splurge.
And I almost couldn't pull the trigger.
I am SO glad I did. I've had it now for probably 6 years, and it is still in amazing shape. We bought it at TJ Maxx in Kansas City, MO one year. I have loved it ever since. I use it all the time. Some call it my "lesbian" purse - lovingly, of course. It pairs well with my "lesbian" shoes (Keens) and tankinis and board shorts and cut offs..............
SO basically I look a bit butch most days.
Deal with it.
--------------------------
What is your favorite article of clothing? Do accessories count? Do you think I may or may not look butch most times that you see me?
My short dark hair has not helped that situation.
X Angie
13 May, 2013
118/349: Rock Bottom
Blogging 349 / Day 118
Blogging 349 is a series I started in January in an effort to inspire myself to write daily. You can see my progress and read the archives by clicking the tab on the top left. (You will have to click over to my blog to see the pages tabs if you follow in a reader). Please feel free to follow or write along with me.
118. What does rock bottom look like? What does it feel like?
------------------------------
I don't think writing about what rock bottom looks or feels like would be a good thing for me to do right now.
Here is a post I wrote during a really low point a few months back. And that is as close as I am coming to writing about that again for a while.
I am in a good place, headed toward an even better place -- and I just can't pause and go in reverse at this point in my journey.
-----------------------------
X Angie
Blogging 349 is a series I started in January in an effort to inspire myself to write daily. You can see my progress and read the archives by clicking the tab on the top left. (You will have to click over to my blog to see the pages tabs if you follow in a reader). Please feel free to follow or write along with me.
118. What does rock bottom look like? What does it feel like?
------------------------------
I don't think writing about what rock bottom looks or feels like would be a good thing for me to do right now.
Here is a post I wrote during a really low point a few months back. And that is as close as I am coming to writing about that again for a while.
I am in a good place, headed toward an even better place -- and I just can't pause and go in reverse at this point in my journey.
-----------------------------
X Angie
117/349: Bucket List
Blogging 349 / Day 117
Blogging 349 is a series I started in January in an effort to inspire myself to write daily. You can see my progress and read the archives by clicking the tab on the top left. (You will have to click over to my blog to see the pages tabs if you follow in a reader). Please feel free to follow or write along with me.
117. Something off your bucket-list.
----------------------------
I wrote a REALLY nice, long, heartfelt post about my AMAZING Mother's Day here. And then I saved it. But only not really because Blogger didn't get the memo.
-SUPER SADFACE-
I spent 40 minutes on it, you guys.
Here's the gist:
My day was super
Isaiah was SO cute and made me the CUTEST "Super Mom" themed card and gift bag
The boys cleaned my whole house
I talked to my Mom for 4 hours
I went on a long walk
We got dressed up nicely and went out with some good Mom friends of mine
It was glorious and will be hard to beat
Insert a lot of sappiness and humor and flesh it all out a bit. Use your imagination.
I also tied it into my "bucket list" prompt by saying that if I had a list "Having a wonderful Mother's Day" would be on it, and now I could cross it off.
-SIGH-
-Meanmugs Blogger-
---------------------------------
What is on your bucket list? Crossed off anything lately? Or ever? How did you spend Mother's Day?
X Angie
Blogging 349 is a series I started in January in an effort to inspire myself to write daily. You can see my progress and read the archives by clicking the tab on the top left. (You will have to click over to my blog to see the pages tabs if you follow in a reader). Please feel free to follow or write along with me.
117. Something off your bucket-list.
----------------------------
I wrote a REALLY nice, long, heartfelt post about my AMAZING Mother's Day here. And then I saved it. But only not really because Blogger didn't get the memo.
-SUPER SADFACE-
I spent 40 minutes on it, you guys.
Here's the gist:
My day was super
Isaiah was SO cute and made me the CUTEST "Super Mom" themed card and gift bag
The boys cleaned my whole house
I talked to my Mom for 4 hours
I went on a long walk
We got dressed up nicely and went out with some good Mom friends of mine
It was glorious and will be hard to beat
Insert a lot of sappiness and humor and flesh it all out a bit. Use your imagination.
I also tied it into my "bucket list" prompt by saying that if I had a list "Having a wonderful Mother's Day" would be on it, and now I could cross it off.
-SIGH-
-Meanmugs Blogger-
---------------------------------
What is on your bucket list? Crossed off anything lately? Or ever? How did you spend Mother's Day?
X Angie
11 May, 2013
116/349: Holla-days
Blogging 349 / Day 116
Blogging 349 is a series I started in January in an effort to inspire myself to write daily. You can see my progress and read the archives by clicking the tab on the top left. (You will have to click over to my blog to see the pages tabs if you follow in a reader). Please feel free to follow or write along with me.
116. Your favorite Holiday.
---------------------
I don't know that I have a favorite Holiday. Maybe New Years? Or the Fourth of July? or Memorial or Labor Day? St. Pattys?
For sure not Christmas because Christmas/December is a highly exhausting and expensive situation. Not Easter because I am not very religious and candy isn't really my favorite. Not Thanksgiving because I always eat too much and feel overstuffed and filled with shame afterward. Not Valentine's day because it seems silly to me. Not Halloween, refer back to the bit about candy.
I like all the Holiday's I mentioned first though. I like them because I get time off, drinking is encouraged, and most of them involve decent weather.
Mother's Day is also pretty cool. I read this post by Mama Pea where she says she doesn't feel like the "World's Best" mother and doesn't really feel like being celebrated -- as if she is a fraud or something. I found it highly confusing.
I understand this part:
"Then there’s the “not-a-mom” who so desperately wants to have kids but can’t, or who, bless her sweet soul, lost a child that was never born. She, who hasn’t been able to move past the pain and see all the children in this world who need her as their mother, their mentor or their friend. There are too many not-a-moms and too many momless kids, and I grieve for both sets of broken hearts."
I feel for those women too. I do.
But that doesn't mean that my efforts shouldn't be applauded at least one day out of the year. This shit isn't easy. Mother's should get a day every.damn.week. for all the crap we endure.
All the millions of little things that go unnoticed or unappreciated. Sometimes it makes be bitter and yelly. And usually, I don't apologize for the outburst. Appreciate me dammit!
So, I'm going to take my day. Ok? And here's what I won't do -- feel guilty about it. I work really damn hard to be called Mom. I wipe noses, pack lunches, keep the bills paid, find what's lost, remember the little things, keep food in the house and toilet paper in the bathrooms, rub bellys, cut hair, among other things - like living my own damn life.
Yeah.
I'm taking my damn day.
And I might even deem it my favorite Holiday too. How do you like them apples?
Wow. I went from ambivalent to pissed in like one paragraph. That is impressive. Add it to the list of things I do amazingly and regularly.
Instead of the phrase "Like a Boss" people should use "Like a Mom." Because no one is more boss status than a mom. That is just true.
--------------------------------
What is your favorite Holiday?
X Angie
Blogging 349 is a series I started in January in an effort to inspire myself to write daily. You can see my progress and read the archives by clicking the tab on the top left. (You will have to click over to my blog to see the pages tabs if you follow in a reader). Please feel free to follow or write along with me.
116. Your favorite Holiday.
---------------------
I don't know that I have a favorite Holiday. Maybe New Years? Or the Fourth of July? or Memorial or Labor Day? St. Pattys?
For sure not Christmas because Christmas/December is a highly exhausting and expensive situation. Not Easter because I am not very religious and candy isn't really my favorite. Not Thanksgiving because I always eat too much and feel overstuffed and filled with shame afterward. Not Valentine's day because it seems silly to me. Not Halloween, refer back to the bit about candy.
I like all the Holiday's I mentioned first though. I like them because I get time off, drinking is encouraged, and most of them involve decent weather.
Mother's Day is also pretty cool. I read this post by Mama Pea where she says she doesn't feel like the "World's Best" mother and doesn't really feel like being celebrated -- as if she is a fraud or something. I found it highly confusing.
I understand this part:
"Then there’s the “not-a-mom” who so desperately wants to have kids but can’t, or who, bless her sweet soul, lost a child that was never born. She, who hasn’t been able to move past the pain and see all the children in this world who need her as their mother, their mentor or their friend. There are too many not-a-moms and too many momless kids, and I grieve for both sets of broken hearts."
I feel for those women too. I do.
But that doesn't mean that my efforts shouldn't be applauded at least one day out of the year. This shit isn't easy. Mother's should get a day every.damn.week. for all the crap we endure.
All the millions of little things that go unnoticed or unappreciated. Sometimes it makes be bitter and yelly. And usually, I don't apologize for the outburst. Appreciate me dammit!
So, I'm going to take my day. Ok? And here's what I won't do -- feel guilty about it. I work really damn hard to be called Mom. I wipe noses, pack lunches, keep the bills paid, find what's lost, remember the little things, keep food in the house and toilet paper in the bathrooms, rub bellys, cut hair, among other things - like living my own damn life.
Yeah.
I'm taking my damn day.
And I might even deem it my favorite Holiday too. How do you like them apples?
Wow. I went from ambivalent to pissed in like one paragraph. That is impressive. Add it to the list of things I do amazingly and regularly.
Instead of the phrase "Like a Boss" people should use "Like a Mom." Because no one is more boss status than a mom. That is just true.
--------------------------------
What is your favorite Holiday?
X Angie
115/349: Workin it
Blogging 349 / Day 115
Blogging 349 is a series I started in January in an effort to inspire myself to write daily. You can see my progress and read the archives by clicking the tab on the top left. (You will have to click over to my blog to see the pages tabs if you follow in a reader). Please feel free to follow or write along with me.
115. A memory from a job you held in High School.
Running a bit behind schedule. Sorry about that. I went to a Tiger's game yesterday after work and was in no condition to write a post when I got home. Whoopsies.
---------------------------------
In high school I had a few jobs. I was a lifeguard, a hostess, and a babysitter. Somedays? I was all three. Yeah. I overachieved back then. Before I realized that sometimes its cool to coast along as mediocre for a bit.
-ahem. like right now. -
I have so many memories from all three jobs. But the one that sticks out the most in my memory, has to do with a boy.
Gasp!
Close your eyes grandma, mom, and Clint. You've been warned.
I worked at a Mexican restaurant as a hostess. And as anyone who has ever spent any time working in a restaurant can tell you -- it is a highly sexualized business. There is ass grabbing and dirty joke telling and foul foul things being said at all times.
It is a coping mechanism for all the masochists who go to work in the food service industry. Somehow slapping butts and speaking only in swear words and sexual innuendos makes the time go faster and helps you to care less that you work for tips and live or die on the generosity of cheap fucking people. Excuse my French.
I worked most of my shifts with a girl named Tasha - I loved her. She was hilarious and outrageous and adorable and ...now I'm wondering where she is and what she is doing now?
Tasha and I were constantly flirting with the owner's grandson. And he flirted back. Boy did he. He wasn't the most attractive guy on earth, but it was something to do. And why not? So flirt we did. And that was really all we did........ until this one day.
One day when we were in the back room getting supplies before our shift, he picked me up and kissed me. Right next to the avocados and the paper towels. He kissed me. And then he set me down and walked out of the room.
WHAT?! Why did he do that? Didn't he know the server code? Didn't he know that it was all talk and no walk? How the hell was I supposed to walk out of the back room and be normal after that? And how the hell was I going to explain that kiss to my then boyfriend?
The rest of the shift went by super quick because we were very busy that particular night -- thank goodness. And he never did it again, and we never talked about it. I wasn't mad at him or rude to him or anything. We just pretended it never happened, which made me wonder even more why it ever happened in the first place.
I think I'll always kind of wonder.
And, as for my then boyfriend, I never got the chance to tell him because he cheated on me a few days later and I dumped his stupid ass. And got with Clint the same day.
-sigh-
High school.
-----------------------------
Do you have any high school work memories? Did you work in high school? What did you do?
X Angie
Blogging 349 is a series I started in January in an effort to inspire myself to write daily. You can see my progress and read the archives by clicking the tab on the top left. (You will have to click over to my blog to see the pages tabs if you follow in a reader). Please feel free to follow or write along with me.
115. A memory from a job you held in High School.
Running a bit behind schedule. Sorry about that. I went to a Tiger's game yesterday after work and was in no condition to write a post when I got home. Whoopsies.
---------------------------------
In high school I had a few jobs. I was a lifeguard, a hostess, and a babysitter. Somedays? I was all three. Yeah. I overachieved back then. Before I realized that sometimes its cool to coast along as mediocre for a bit.
-ahem. like right now. -
I have so many memories from all three jobs. But the one that sticks out the most in my memory, has to do with a boy.
Gasp!
Close your eyes grandma, mom, and Clint. You've been warned.
I worked at a Mexican restaurant as a hostess. And as anyone who has ever spent any time working in a restaurant can tell you -- it is a highly sexualized business. There is ass grabbing and dirty joke telling and foul foul things being said at all times.
It is a coping mechanism for all the masochists who go to work in the food service industry. Somehow slapping butts and speaking only in swear words and sexual innuendos makes the time go faster and helps you to care less that you work for tips and live or die on the generosity of cheap fucking people. Excuse my French.
I worked most of my shifts with a girl named Tasha - I loved her. She was hilarious and outrageous and adorable and ...now I'm wondering where she is and what she is doing now?
Tasha and I were constantly flirting with the owner's grandson. And he flirted back. Boy did he. He wasn't the most attractive guy on earth, but it was something to do. And why not? So flirt we did. And that was really all we did........ until this one day.
One day when we were in the back room getting supplies before our shift, he picked me up and kissed me. Right next to the avocados and the paper towels. He kissed me. And then he set me down and walked out of the room.
WHAT?! Why did he do that? Didn't he know the server code? Didn't he know that it was all talk and no walk? How the hell was I supposed to walk out of the back room and be normal after that? And how the hell was I going to explain that kiss to my then boyfriend?
The rest of the shift went by super quick because we were very busy that particular night -- thank goodness. And he never did it again, and we never talked about it. I wasn't mad at him or rude to him or anything. We just pretended it never happened, which made me wonder even more why it ever happened in the first place.
I think I'll always kind of wonder.
And, as for my then boyfriend, I never got the chance to tell him because he cheated on me a few days later and I dumped his stupid ass. And got with Clint the same day.
-sigh-
High school.
-----------------------------
Do you have any high school work memories? Did you work in high school? What did you do?
X Angie
114/349: FAT
Blogging 349 / Day 114
Blogging 349 is a series I started in January in an effort to inspire myself to write daily. You can see my progress and read the archives by clicking the tab on the top left. (You will have to click over to my blog to see the pages tabs if you follow in a reader). Please feel free to follow or write along with me.
114. Fat.
Weighty issues pop up around here a lot: here, here, here, here, and here. And those were just the ones I came across, I know there are more.
I wrote this Thursday and forgot to post it! EEKS!
-------------------------
"You are not fat. You have fat."
I guess that's true.
There are a million and one quotes out there to inspire weightloss, and a million and one more that ignite body acceptance. I just can't decide which side of the fence I am on most days.
Some days, I'm all: "You guys, we are worth more than some ridiculous number on the scale -- that is just one tiny fraction of what we are and bares no weight on our worth."
And other days...
"Fuck being fat. I'm so sick of not feeling good about the way I look. I want to feel confident and hot and fit. I need to eat less and move more!" Rah rah rah!
And still other days....
"If being fit or skinnier than I am right now requires me to forgo this beer, or that night out, or movie theater popcorn, or the food at that party, than it just isn't worth it! I refuse to let what I eat or don't eat define me."
YOU GUYS!
I cannot decide how I feel. And it changes by the minute some days.
Fat. Fat. Fat?
I don't know.
The word itself doesn't do much for me.
I'm so confused.
------------------------------
How do you feel about fat? How about about your body?
X Angie
Blogging 349 is a series I started in January in an effort to inspire myself to write daily. You can see my progress and read the archives by clicking the tab on the top left. (You will have to click over to my blog to see the pages tabs if you follow in a reader). Please feel free to follow or write along with me.
114. Fat.
Weighty issues pop up around here a lot: here, here, here, here, and here. And those were just the ones I came across, I know there are more.
I wrote this Thursday and forgot to post it! EEKS!
-------------------------
"You are not fat. You have fat."
I guess that's true.
There are a million and one quotes out there to inspire weightloss, and a million and one more that ignite body acceptance. I just can't decide which side of the fence I am on most days.
Some days, I'm all: "You guys, we are worth more than some ridiculous number on the scale -- that is just one tiny fraction of what we are and bares no weight on our worth."
And other days...
"Fuck being fat. I'm so sick of not feeling good about the way I look. I want to feel confident and hot and fit. I need to eat less and move more!" Rah rah rah!
And still other days....
"If being fit or skinnier than I am right now requires me to forgo this beer, or that night out, or movie theater popcorn, or the food at that party, than it just isn't worth it! I refuse to let what I eat or don't eat define me."
YOU GUYS!
I cannot decide how I feel. And it changes by the minute some days.
Fat. Fat. Fat?
I don't know.
The word itself doesn't do much for me.
I'm so confused.
------------------------------
How do you feel about fat? How about about your body?
X Angie
08 May, 2013
113/349: See yourself out
Blogging 349 / Day 113
Blogging 349 is a series I started in January in an effort to inspire myself to write daily. You can see my progress and read the archives by clicking the tab on the top left. (You will have to click over to my blog to see the pages tabs if you follow in a reader). Please feel free to follow or write along with me.
113. She told him to see himself out...
---------------------------------
I have kind of always wanted to tell someone to see themselves out. Or to not let the door hit them where the good Lord split them. Or really anything of the sort.
I am a little surprised I've never done it, considering how much of a jerk I can be when pushed.
I think I'll add it to my bucket list.
Usually I just opt to see myself out. I think it works better that way. It is very refreshing to storm off. I've done it twice this week already. I love leaving in a cloud of frustration and escaping the chaos.
"This place is such a mess! I can't even stand to be here! I must go to Target instead, where it is organized, and buy things... for.. um... Mother's Day. That's right. Mother's Day. SEE YA."
Bonus points if I return with my Target bags to a slightly less messy house.
"UGH! I feel disgusting today. I simply need another walk. I have to clear my head." ............ clear my head while walking in the sunshine, alone, without any responsibility -- and bopping along to my sweet jams.
What? Don't judge me.
Those are almost legitimate reasons to storm off.
----------------------------------
When was the last time you stormed off or saw yourself out? Do you do it often? Do you do it mostly in a selfish manner like me? Or no?
Might you start?? Muwahahahaha. Your secret's safe with me, friend.
X Angie
Blogging 349 is a series I started in January in an effort to inspire myself to write daily. You can see my progress and read the archives by clicking the tab on the top left. (You will have to click over to my blog to see the pages tabs if you follow in a reader). Please feel free to follow or write along with me.
113. She told him to see himself out...
---------------------------------
I have kind of always wanted to tell someone to see themselves out. Or to not let the door hit them where the good Lord split them. Or really anything of the sort.
I am a little surprised I've never done it, considering how much of a jerk I can be when pushed.
I think I'll add it to my bucket list.
Usually I just opt to see myself out. I think it works better that way. It is very refreshing to storm off. I've done it twice this week already. I love leaving in a cloud of frustration and escaping the chaos.
"This place is such a mess! I can't even stand to be here! I must go to Target instead, where it is organized, and buy things... for.. um... Mother's Day. That's right. Mother's Day. SEE YA."
Bonus points if I return with my Target bags to a slightly less messy house.
"UGH! I feel disgusting today. I simply need another walk. I have to clear my head." ............ clear my head while walking in the sunshine, alone, without any responsibility -- and bopping along to my sweet jams.
What? Don't judge me.
Those are almost legitimate reasons to storm off.
----------------------------------
When was the last time you stormed off or saw yourself out? Do you do it often? Do you do it mostly in a selfish manner like me? Or no?
Might you start?? Muwahahahaha. Your secret's safe with me, friend.
X Angie
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